Here we are at the start of another school year. Where does the time go? I swear the years keep going by faster and faster. And with each passing year I watch my kids get bigger and older. With each passing year I feel less and less needed, like my “mom job” is in less demand.
I know what you are thinking, once you are a mom you are a mom for life. I agree! However, the “job” changes. Think about it…Remember when you first became a mom, you were needed 24/7. Flash forward to when your kids started pre-school. You all of a sudden had several hours a day that you weren’t in mom-mode. Next thing you know your kids started elementary school. Your “job” went from 24/7 to mornings and evenings. No big deal right, the break was welcomed. You finally had time to do all the things you felt like you never had time to do before. For me it was grocery shopping solo. It was amazing to see how little my total was without two little people asking and even begging for this and that.
A few solo shopping trips and blinks of my eyes later and my daughter started driving, graduated high school, and started her freshman year of college. My son, now he is an 8th grader with big visions for his future. I’m holding on to him with all I’ve got because he still “needs” me. My daughter, my first born, that’s the one that has me feeling like my “job” is coming to an end. No more running her here and there. No more rearranging all my plans to make sure she gets to every practice and meet. I keep asking myself what do I do now? Am I crazy? Am I the only mom out there that feels like this? Probably not. I would love to talk to the other moms that fell this way. How do you deal with this feeling? Is my job really ending?
NO! My mom job isn’t in jeopardy, my mom job isn’t ending…it is just changing. I’m still needed, just in a different way. I realized this the night before my daughter started college. She wrote me a letter, something she does often, but this letter was different. This letter thanked me for always being there. This letter thanked me for helping her get where she is and for always having her back. All the years I did my mom job helped us, as mother and daughter, get to where we are now, best friends! So yes, all the running around has ended and the “job” as I knew it for so many years ended. BUT, the “job” hasn’t ended at all, it just changed. I’m still a mom, I’m still needed. Things are just different now. Instead of coming to me for rides or money she is coming to me for advice and guidance.
Change is hard to get used to, especially when it comes to your kids. But change is growth and growth is good. I have to believe that everything I’ve done over the years as a mom was done to help prepare my daughter, and me for that matter, for this next chapter. It only makes sense, your kids change as they grow and parents change as their kids grow.
For all the moms out there reading this and wondering the same things I have been wondering I have this advice for you….
- Stay positive. Never doubt yourself, you’re doing a great job!
- Enjoy every minute of the craziness. You may complain about running and running and not having time for yourself but when it’s gone you will miss it. I know I do! Enjoy the running and soak up the memories being made.
- Take Pictures! Record everything! Your kids will whine and complain but they will thank you later. I cannot tell you how many times we have sat down and gone through photo albums and my kids have said “OMG! I forgot about that” or “I remember that, I can’t believe you got that picture”.
- Cherish the ups and downs. Sounds crazy but the downs sometimes turn into the best ups. My daughter and I have been through a ton of both. The downs hurt, they are hard to experience, hard to handle but in the end they make us stronger and bring us closer. They actually help us grow as parents and kids.
I’ve questions so many things I’ve done as a mom over the years but as I watched my daughter drive off to her first day of college I know I did everything to the best of my ability. Yes, my mom job as I knew it is over but I am so excited to start this new version of my mom job. The good news is being a mom never ends, the job description changes but the reward is the same…unconditional, never ending love! <3
Whether your child was just born or starting pre-school or starting elementary school or starting college…HOLD ON! It’s gonna be a crazy ride but it will be one you will never forgot.